what ifs

Writing about regrets yesterday made me think. Do you have a what if person? You know, that certain someone that you think about from time to time and wonder what could have happened if the two of you got together or if you fought for each other?

A close friend told me that a lot of people have what if persons. He said this was because a lot of us are, more often than not, too scared to be vulnerable or too frightened to take that first step knowing that there's no turning back.

What is it about taking the plunge that scares us half to death? Is it our pride? Are we naturally afraid to show vulnerability to another person? Is it because we're stepping out of the box and we're scared of the possibility that we might not like what's outside? Or is it because we were brought up to believe that it's selfish to think about our own happiness?

A lot of people have been saying you should follow your own heart, yada yada yada. But you know what? Truth is, it's never really that easy. Life has a lot of gray areas. Sometimes you have to sacrifice your own happiness for the benefit of everybody else around you, sometimes you just have to turn away from that certain something or that certain someone that makes your heart skip a beat and sometimes you have no choice but to walk away and to never look back.

That's the reality of life, I guess. Sad, but definitely true. And when that happens, all that we have left are our what ifs.

*sigh*